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Post by MoBuckChaser on Feb 16, 2017 7:45:16 GMT -6
I worked on construction sites my whole life. Porta Potty's had to be used in a 10 hour day. During the winter I have seen shit frozen above the toilet seat in some of them if our cheap ass boss would only pay for once a month pumping. We used to shave the end of a 2x4 at a 45 degree angle and leave it in the shitter so guys could chisel off the frozen mound of poop to make room for new poop!
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Post by badbrad on Feb 16, 2017 8:12:25 GMT -6
I worked on construction sites my whole life. Porta Potty's had to be used in a 10 hour day. During the winter I have seen shit frozen above the toilet seat in some of them if our cheap ass boss would only pay for once a month pumping. We used to shave the end of a 2x4 at a 45 degree angle and leave it in the shitter so guys could chisel off the frozen mound of poop to make room for new poop!
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Post by nhmountains on Feb 17, 2017 18:38:30 GMT -6
What's worse is they come to work. Swipe in on the clock. Head to the shitter. Bask in their stench. Wipe their ass and then head to the break room to get coffee. Then go to their desks and talk bullshit for 10 minutes and then turn their computers on and sign in.
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Post by biglakebass on Feb 17, 2017 19:26:54 GMT -6
OMFG....
I cant express enough how happy I am to work from HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by chummer16 on Feb 17, 2017 19:47:09 GMT -6
I rent some space in my office building to a group of therapists. One of the ladies must have Crohn's disease or something. I've had the misfortune of being within 50ft of the can while she's crushing it. The bathrooms in the basement & she regularly stinks up the ground level. She did it today.... Some poor bastard sleeps with that broad. I have Crohn's and I smell like roses. My funniest smelly chick story. Girl that lived in the suite next to us in college was smoking hot. Like hottest chick at college hot. Her and her roommates spent the better part of two years drinking at our place. Last day of senior year a couple of my roommates and me wanted to say our good byes(I was just hoping for one final huge titty hug). Door was always open so we walked right in. We walked right into the worst smell I had ever smelled. She obviously just got done taking a dump(there alone). It was horrid. It was like there was no oxygen left in the room. I got my hug, left and permanently deleted her from my spank bank. IT WAS THAT BAD. 20 years later some poor bastard sleeps with that broad.
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Post by chummer16 on Feb 17, 2017 19:56:23 GMT -6
Anyone ever been to the Preakness? I am sure this girl died. Picture two rows of a hundred portable potties. 95 degrees and 70k people drinking and using those porta potties. 3/4 of the way through the day I notice the last few ports potties are now under "water". Not water at all, but the low spot and some of these ports potties are over flowing. The lines are 15 deep at every porta potty except the ones under "water". This chick wades through the shit and piss to use one of the empty porta potties. While in there, and I am hoping they were not her friends, two guys tip the porta potty over. She gets the door open and climbs out, i can't imagine how she didn't die from some horrible infection. Covered in shit and piss she went on her way. Anyone still looking to cling to their youth I highly recomend the infield at the Preakness.
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Post by chummer16 on Feb 17, 2017 20:18:40 GMT -6
My final favorite shit story. We had a free loading roommate that always stole everyone's food. The guy who won't throw In $3 for pizza but will sit there and stare at you like a dog hoping for a left over slice or piece of crust. Day of our senior ball we plot our two years worth of revenge. He was a big dude and alway ate our smallest roommates food. We set the plan in motion, and it worked to perfection. We ordered subs and of coarse he didn't want to order one. He went to take a final and we set the trap. We ordered an extra meat ball sub and ground up a box of exlax and put into the sauce and meat balls. When he returned we persuaded him(didn't take much) that for one last time he should eat Joes sub before he got back from his final. He got the biggest smile on his face, unwrapped the sub and with out missing a beat devoured it. Room full of guys trying not to loose it as we watched. Trap sprung. Fast forward a few hours later and we are at the ball. By this time everyone in the place knows what we did. He finally does the dip. 45 minutes later he comes back soaking wet, announces to the crowd he just spent 45 minutes shitting his brains out. We all loose it but no one spills the beans. A couple months later me and joe meet up with him. He tells us that the next day he hit every rest stop on the Mass pike to uncontrollably shit. And in what I believe is still to this day the greatest moment in Joe's life he proceeds to tell him How he ate the sub with the entire box of exlax.
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Post by sd51555 on Feb 19, 2017 7:43:19 GMT -6
I feel the need to be a wise ass too often. One thing I enjoy doing is trying to get reactions out of complete strangers. Cue the urinal experiment...
Picture a stadium mens room. There is a large area where up to 15-20 guys can piss at one time. Men don't talk to each other while taking a leak. I don't feel the need to change that. However, doesn't mean there isn't an opportunity to get a good laugh in. So, when the stars align and I've got a good fart on deck, I'll rip that fart as loudly as I can without looking up or over at anyone else and just wait to see the reaction from the other people.
***Caution, if you've had the flu or other dietary disruptions recently, you should wait at least 7 days before trying to pull this stunt. In college, I had a stint where I didn't eat for a couple days and suddenly decided to go on a bar crawl with a mixed group of friends. 5 beers in, I go to take my first piss and there's one guy next to me taking a whiz. Chamber loaded? Check. Unsuspecting stranger present? Check. Complete silence? Check. Midstream, I clench my teeth to harness max psi before launching my ordinance. I shut my eyes and fire...
What was supposed to be a blank turned out to be napalm. Having not eaten for a couple days had left me with nothing but a hot acid shart. It was like somebody curb stomped a bottle of Hershey's in my shorts.
If you're wondering what the reaction was from the unsuspecting stranger, he knew exactly what happened, the moment it happened, as well as me. That special sound is unmistakable. He looked over at me first and in true brotherhood fashion said, "Oh that sucks. Sorry dude. Happens to all of us."
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Post by MoBuckChaser on Feb 19, 2017 7:50:38 GMT -6
We were remodeling a huge old apartment building in Mpls 25 years ago. They had to evict almost all the people and they left behind all sorts of crap. Boxes full of you name it, from Dildo's to pots and pans. We had to clean out every apartment before starting demo. So guys were digging in all the boxes to see what they could find on company time when they should have been throwing the shit out! So me be the boss, I decided to leave them a couple of traps. I shit in some old shoe boxes and placed them around in some of the closets in the buildings.
Pretty much eliminated them from looking in all the boxes, at least the small boxes anyways.....LOL!
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Post by badbrad on Feb 19, 2017 10:52:32 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Feb 19, 2017 11:15:50 GMT -6
We were remodeling a huge old apartment building in Mpls 25 years ago. They had to evict almost all the people and they left behind all sorts of crap. Boxes full of you name it, from Dildo's to pots and pans. Who buys new sex toys each time they move?
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Post by Tooln on Feb 19, 2017 11:20:39 GMT -6
A couple of stories here. At a place where I use to work one guy always brought a big jug of cool aid. Another one of the guys kept drinking it on him. His wife was a nurse so he got some of that stuff that cleans you out before you get the probe shoved up your ass. Needless to say the guy drank it not knowing a thing. Fast forward about an hour I'm standing by the time clock getting ready to punch. The plant supervisor come out of the can shaking his head and kept saying I can't believe it, I can't believe it. So I asked him what's up? He said there was shit all over the stall wall's, on the wall and just all over the place. He said he then went into the garbage an to get some used towels to try cleaning it up some. He said he come out with a pair of shorts and pants all covered with shit. He said how could someone come out of the shitter with nothing but a shirt on. I told him it was probably one of the cheese makers and they would have had their apron. This was over 30 years ago and I still laugh when thinking about it. The wife come home from the dollar store one day with a couple of these. I had to take one to work for the shops shitter. You should have seen the looks on the face's of guys when they opened the door, PRICELESS.
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