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Post by smsmith on Mar 1, 2017 11:36:42 GMT -6
Stu......could your folks still gift to you (each, up to the maximum, and to your current wife) each year......and it would not affect you at their passing? I think there is nothing to prevent you from receiving gifts right now. Am I wrong? I'd ask a tax accountant or attorney on this. Of course.....THEY have to want to do that. I believe there is a 5 year look back rule? Yes, they could gift now but any such gift could be taken back to pay any bills upon their deaths (if they pass within the 5 years). The whole point of them gifting back then (In my mind) was to avoid the look back rule and to accumulate funds that would be outside a nursing home or the government's ability to take for care. I didn't want the money, I wanted them to have the money that they could use without any "oversight" (In reality, I'd be paying for what they wanted/needed but I would have used the funds however they directed me...if that makes any sense.) They have an estate plan, but the odds of them using up what they have are high. It doesn't take long to run through a few hundred K in a nursing home/assisted living facility.
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Post by nhmountains on Mar 1, 2017 11:55:04 GMT -6
My inlaws had it all set up and then my mother inlaw passed. The new stepmother made him sign everything back over to them so there's no protection now. They're both 88 so something's going to happen. Her kids have nothing to do with her now. I'm guessing they'll be around later. That's not a good situation. Does the new step-mom have kids. Unfortunately my wife's side of the family saw this with their grandparents. There are still gold-diggers around.
The new step mom has 3 kids that live outside of NH and have not visited her in the 7 years that she has been married to my father inlaw. They each received a payout when she sold her house. When my step mother inlaw fell at Christmas and broke 6 ribs and she had major surgery they didn't make the trip to NH. My wife and I were there when we weren't working. It will be a cluster later on.
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Post by Freeborn on Mar 1, 2017 12:04:42 GMT -6
That's not a good situation. Does the new step-mom have kids. Unfortunately my wife's side of the family saw this with their grandparents. There are still gold-diggers around.
The new step mom has 3 kids that live outside of NH and have not visited her in the 7 years that she has been married to my father inlaw. They each received a payout when she sold her house. When my step mother inlaw fell at Christmas and broke 6 ribs and she had major surgery they didn't make the trip to NH. My wife and I were there when we weren't working. It will be a cluster later on. Sorry to hear that. At the end of the day its all up to your father In-law to figure it out. Depending on where the wealth originates I would not leave my interests unguarded. Hopefully your spouse has a good relationship with her father and he understands the situation.
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Post by nhmountains on Mar 1, 2017 12:23:25 GMT -6
The new step mom has 3 kids that live outside of NH and have not visited her in the 7 years that she has been married to my father inlaw. They each received a payout when she sold her house. When my step mother inlaw fell at Christmas and broke 6 ribs and she had major surgery they didn't make the trip to NH. My wife and I were there when we weren't working. It will be a cluster later on. Sorry to hear that. At the end of the day its all up to your father In-law to figure it out. Depending on where the wealth originates I would not leave my interests unguarded. Hopefully your spouse has a good relationship with her father and he understands the situation.
Unfortunately he made his bed. His wife is a very difficult person who says it's her way or the highway. My wife and I are givers. We've taken care of them to the best of our abilities and can go to bed each night knowing that. We've made suggestions but, they do things their way.
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Post by Foggy on Mar 1, 2017 12:36:45 GMT -6
We watched two parents of ours go thru family "implosions" due to lack of proper planning. Really a painful experience for my wife and I......and we largely did all the work to settle estates and such. Never took a penny or did anything that was not in our siblings best interests or that of our parents.......yet we were still hated for doing what needed to be done. We will not see our kids "set-up" in such a way (hopefully). We've done allot of work to make sure that our demise goes as smoothly as it can. Wiils, living wills, health care directives, trusts, gifting, estate planning, yadda yadda. I think we have done it all. Still.....it aint an easy process to deal with. We do considerable gifting to our kids......but also get concerned that they spend too much on "toys" and won't be able to help their kids / grandkids as we have done for them. I guess you cannot micro-manage too far into the future....and everyone needs to live life their way. We tell our kids when we gift them that their are not strings attached to our gift.....but we expect them to manage their affairs wisely. ?? The biggest gift we could give our children is to not become a burden to their lives.
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Post by sd51555 on Mar 1, 2017 12:53:12 GMT -6
Inheritance is a "touchy" subject. I see families (kids) that never talk to each other ever again because of how the money is structured at death. Sad. Farms in general, are very difficult to split, I think farmers are getting better at it. Used to be the oldest boy would get everything, now most of the farmers try to split it up equally, daughters will often rent the land to the brothers...some structure it with life insurance etc... One thing I have found is farmers that sell out, often regret it, they pay high capital gains and then regret not just renting the land when they retire.If they regret it, its their own fault, because they could always buy the land back! 10% long term capitol gains taxes isnt that bad for the amount of appreciated value they received over 40 years! Not to mention as long as an estate can dodge the estate tax, the appreciated land transfers to the heirs at a stepped up basis.
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Post by sd51555 on Mar 1, 2017 13:02:15 GMT -6
I feel for you Carl. We're dealing with a similar situation right now. It's amazing how many times these disastrous estate situations happen all around us, and yet they continue to happen. What's more ironic is that all three of us boys have our end affairs in order from top to bottom (except funeral arrangements) and have for some time.
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Post by MoBuckChaser on Mar 1, 2017 13:07:20 GMT -6
I just don't get what or why there would be any fighting over someone elses money. If the parents have money and decide to give more to one kid or the other, or to none of them, so be it! It ain't the kids fucking money!
Too many greedy fucking Menedez kids around I guess!
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Post by Foggy on Mar 1, 2017 13:14:13 GMT -6
I just don't get what or why there would be any fighting over someone elses money. If the parents have money and decide to give more to one kid or the other, or to none of them, so be it! It ain't the kids fucking money! Too many greedy fucking Menedez kids around I guess! My wife's family and two of my sisters were really torn apart after our parents passing. I find it hard to believe how vicious some became. I suppose if you feel you won't have "enough" you stoop to such things? Dunno......but I was blind-sided by the greed that followed. A bad dream. At one time, I considered giving (gifting) two of my sisters part of a pension I receive. No more. I am barely able to talk to one......and have not talked to the other in 5 years. Not that I wouldn't.....but the hard feelings run pretty deep. Same goes for my wife's sister whom forced a sale of the family farm so she could get her money......and boot out her "step dad" from a second marriage to her mother. Really sad.
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Post by Bwoods11 on Mar 1, 2017 13:15:42 GMT -6
I just don't get what or why there would be any fighting over someone elses money. If the parents have money and decide to give more to one kid or the other, or to none of them, so be it! It ain't the kids fucking money! Too many greedy fucking Menedez kids around I guess! Mo--totally agree. I have seen it in my wife's family. There were 7 kids and one felt cheated, ironically that one is already a millionaire. She got her brothers on her side, now it is 4 on one side, and 3 on the other...they cannot get along. Sad!
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Post by smsmith on Mar 1, 2017 13:29:10 GMT -6
I think sibling's spouses can oftentimes be a big part of the problem.
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Post by MoBuckChaser on Mar 1, 2017 13:33:19 GMT -6
Trust me, I am not immune to the bullshit either. I talk to none of my 5 brothers and sisters. When my father died, he left my mother with a 28,000 CFD balloon payment due she knew nothing about. And he was broke. It was 1980, and money was expensive to get. I went to all my siblings and said we all need to come up with $4,500 for mother to stay in the house. Got zero fucking response from any of them. So I took out a 18% loan to pay off my mothers home. Told her she can stay their as long as she wants on a life estate. I paid the loan off, paid the taxes and all the costs to remodel the place for over the 25 years she lived there. Accounted for well over $100K. I sold the house for $75,000. Then helped take care of her until she died in assisted living.
Whether it be the greed, lack of, gifting of, stealing of, wealth of, it doesn't matter.......Money sucks!
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Post by Freeborn on Mar 1, 2017 13:36:15 GMT -6
I think sibling's spouses can oftentimes be a big part of the problem. Exactly, particularly if they are divorced and coming into your family while their allegiances are with their family. They basically look for opportunities.
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Post by smsmith on Mar 1, 2017 13:37:02 GMT -6
There's a reason that Greed is one of the seven deadly sins.
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Post by chummer16 on Mar 1, 2017 15:46:20 GMT -6
I think it is time we end this bullshit where father of the bride pays for weddings. I have a deal with both my girls that scholarship equals new car for them. I need one of them to come through for their old man. This is morbid but does any one factor in the demise of their in laws? Not that I completely wish for that day to come but that will be a substantial chunk. They are the type that refuses to talk about real life shit so it will probably all go to a nursing home but there is a chance for a chunk of money. Of coarse our 1/3 will probably have to go to buy out the two other sisters who will want to liquidate the land and camp ASAP. Demise for what? Their money? It's there fucking money, to do what they want with! They don't spend any money. Their net worth has increased since they retired. They retired ten years ago and do nothing but drink and stare at the wall. There will be a lot of money if it doesn't go to the government.
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