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Post by sd51555 on Aug 24, 2017 19:21:16 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Aug 24, 2017 19:52:53 GMT -6
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Post by Foggy on Aug 26, 2017 16:03:26 GMT -6
The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was driving along near a campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, and an old ‘Vote for Hillary’ tee shirt.
The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers all wearing ‘Go Trump’ shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear’s chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear.
Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he proudly proclaimed. “I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Party supporters, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.”
As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, “Who was that guy?”
“Dude, that was the Pope,” another replied. “It’s reported that he has access to all wisdom”.
“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all wisdom, but he don’t know shit about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to California and get another one?”
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Post by Tooln on Aug 26, 2017 23:58:01 GMT -6
About time some new jokes were added. Keep it up guys.
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Post by Foggy on Aug 27, 2017 10:15:44 GMT -6
My New Neighbor This is my new neighbor: She is single... And lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door... I rushed to open it. She looks at me, and says, "I just got home and I am so horny! I have this Strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?" I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!" Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you please watch my dog?" This being a senior citizen sucks!!!
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Post by sd51555 on Aug 28, 2017 21:01:48 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Aug 29, 2017 6:28:04 GMT -6
Be careful out there. The dense is really high today.
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Post by badbrad on Aug 31, 2017 11:33:41 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Sept 1, 2017 14:57:04 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Sept 1, 2017 21:40:16 GMT -6
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Post by jbird on Sept 9, 2017 19:09:38 GMT -6
As soon as I heard this I thought of Foggy!!!! Hopefully this works.....if it doesn't do a search for "shitty golfer" song by Toby Keith
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Post by jbird on Sept 13, 2017 8:38:49 GMT -6
Was sitting at the dinner table last night.....everybody is eating and having some general conversation. My wife makes a general comment...."Went to the Dr. today.... I'm low in "D"....you think you could help me out with that dear?" She has no idea what she just said..... My 4 kids (21, 19, 16 & 14) all stop and look up at each other like....what the hell did mom just say? Of course I knew what she was talking about, but instead I made it that much worse...."I sure can! How much "D" you think you need on a daily basis?" I thought all four of my kids where going to spit food all over the table!!!!! Then my wife realized what she had said! She was upset, of course my kids are now busting out laughing and saying how "gross" we are and the like!!! My wife tried to explain herself .....her vitamin D levels are low. I take a vitamin D supplement..... but it really didn't get vocalized that way! So of course I make it even worse and tell her that she may need a big enough dose that she may have to take some "D" multiple times!!!! The kids are laughing, the wife is pissed and I'm about ready to die myself.....dinner was over....game, set, match!
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Post by sd51555 on Sept 14, 2017 19:48:28 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Sept 14, 2017 20:08:36 GMT -6
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Post by sd51555 on Sept 14, 2017 20:34:48 GMT -6
Omaha Steve went to his rough plants today. Came back loaded.
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