|
Post by badbrad on Mar 6, 2017 11:17:45 GMT -6
So I'm trying to figure out when it is a good time to introduce my 6 and 9 year old boys to my girlfriend. Its been a little over 4 months since we split. The kids have no idea I'm involved with some else. They do know her though only because she works at the bar that we frequent for food and drinks down the road from the cabin.
I'll call it a serious relationship now. She is one awesome women and I see it being a long term thing. I can see a problem being bringing a women into the picture too soon. Let the kids get attached and then you break up and they lose that person in their life.
So I'm thinking about proposing it to the ex wife that maybe at the end of the month I introduce her as a friend outside of the bar. Nothing more. No psa and no sleepovers. Simply "hey here is my friend and we are gonna hang out for this afternoon. Or I'm thinking about me her and taking them to the deer and turkey expo together at the end of the month which would be 5 months.
So when is it Ok? I think the kids are probably ready for this type of situation especially since they know here already from the bar.
|
|
|
Post by wiscwhip on Mar 6, 2017 11:19:22 GMT -6
Playing with fire Scarecrow!!!!
"Danger Will Robinson! Danger!"
|
|
|
Post by Bwoods11 on Mar 6, 2017 11:23:09 GMT -6
I would just be as honest as you can. Sounds like you like/love the gal, just tell them that. I guess that is what I would do in your situation.
Let me add I would wait until the divorce is final, and then maybe even a month or two after...you will know by then if it is "the one" but good luck to you...glad you are happy!
|
|
|
Post by smsmith on Mar 6, 2017 11:25:35 GMT -6
Well, I haven't been there so no first hand experience. I have been down the road of being the "new guy" after my stepkids' father passed away.
The only way I was going to meet them, and my wife (at that time girlfriend) would let me meet them was when we knew we were going to be a long term couple.
I think in a divorce situation, the decision about when the kids meet the new people should be made jointly with the ex wife/husband...raising children remains the responsibility of both biological parents and decisions impacting their lives should be made by both people who created those children.
My gut says it's way too early for your young kids to meet the new gal
|
|
|
Post by ogemaone on Mar 6, 2017 11:26:56 GMT -6
Is your divorce final yet?
|
|
|
Post by badbrad on Mar 6, 2017 11:29:21 GMT -6
Is your divorce final yet?
Will be about Memorial day. The kids don't know if it is final one way or another though. As far as they know it is final because we have split she bought a house already. I live in a rental.
|
|
|
Post by ogemaone on Mar 6, 2017 11:33:19 GMT -6
I would hold off until it's final. I would be leary about enfuriating the ex who could make the divorce more difficult in regards to dividing up possessions etc etc.
|
|
|
Post by wiscwhip on Mar 6, 2017 11:37:02 GMT -6
This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
Post by MoBuckChaser on Mar 6, 2017 11:46:56 GMT -6
I don't know about you young guys. You finally find a chick that will polish your cane and you start talking all serious and long term already.
I would wait for sure until after the divorce is final. and maybe give it some time after that, she aint raising your kids, or shouldn't be in my opinion.So whats the rush?
|
|
|
Post by badbrad on Mar 6, 2017 12:00:49 GMT -6
Either way, if its before or after the D is final I would still talk to the ex about it. She has to be comfortable with it as well and like Stu said you still have to co-parent.
|
|
|
Post by wiscwhip on Mar 6, 2017 12:27:06 GMT -6
Brad, it sounds like the divorce "proceedings" are going well to this point. I would not do ANYTHING that could even remotely give the ex grounds to be bitch about things, especially at this point in the process. You think you know them, until they find out you have already replaced them, then shit can turn sour in a hurry and that benefits no one.
|
|
|
Post by MoBuckChaser on Mar 6, 2017 12:44:20 GMT -6
I know my wife, she would be telling everyone I found some whore at the bar I was pronging before we got divorced. It would be ugly before I got to tell anyone anything. Hope that aint brads case.
|
|
|
Post by badbrad on Mar 6, 2017 12:57:22 GMT -6
I know my wife, she would be telling everyone I found some whore at the bar I was pronging before we got divorced. It would be ugly before I got to tell anyone anything. Hope that aint brads case.
No I came out and told her about the new chick when it happened. Might as well be honest.
|
|
|
Post by Tooln on Mar 6, 2017 15:23:24 GMT -6
Been there done that. I'd wait till after the divorce is final. If you don't the kids may blame her for breaking up mom and dad. Like I said been there done that so learn from my mistake.
|
|
|
Post by mclovin on Mar 6, 2017 16:29:13 GMT -6
My advice is keep the kids and new chick separate for now.
My other advice is don't let her move in. Ever.
|
|